GDPR – It's The End Of The World As We Know It!

15th December 2017
Zombie hand coming out of a grave in a graveyard in the dark

Hold onto your hats, the world is coming to an end!
On May 25th 2018, the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) will take effect, and the world as we know it will end!
The implementation of the GDPR is going to have effects in every corner of the digital world. There will be marketing teams around the world with a mountain of consumer data that has been gathered in all sorts of ways and they will be being held to account for any dodgy practices they have used in the past
There’s a data revolution coming and it’s here to put a stop to all those spam emails and super annoying social media ad campaigns that besiege us every day at the behest of the army of digital marketers across the globe.
If you’re in the digital marketing business it’s time to start counting down the days until the end of the world – yes, this is an extinction level event that even Bruce Willis and his Armageddon pals can’t nuke us out of! And if you’ve found your niche in email marketing you need to build a bunker, because the sky is about to start falling in on you!
It might go a little something like this…

Launch Day – GDPR Begins

Businesses begin to panic and start the systematic destruction of their mailing lists. This sparks the community of email marketers into action, in a fruitless attempt to convince the world that they are still relevant.

Day 2

Email marketing teams are ostracised and thrown out into the wastelands of broken ESPs and severed contracts, without so much as a “thanks for all you’ve done”. Meanwhile Brands find their marketing ROI starts to collapse.

Day 5

Cast out and destitute, email marketers of the world begin to come together in an attempt to find a new way of earning a living. And in the meantime, the world’s online brands start feeling the pinch of all that lost revenue from their email marketing and begin to lay off swathes of digital marketers and data analysts who join their email marketing brothers and sisters as politicians and governments turn a blind eye.

Day 31

With all of their work gone and money soon spent, email marketers, digital marketers and data analysts begin taking to the streets, throwing society into disarray. The police find themselves at a loss without access to any data that may help them establish a strategy for dealing with the crisis, so begin to abandon their posts to remain at home protecting their families and property.

Day 90

Society has disintegrated. While the public are safe from those damn marketers who knew which toothpaste they liked to use, it seems there is now dispute as to why this was a necessary, given that toothpaste and brushing their teeth is the last of their worries as toothpaste, and the internet, has gone. And mankind enters an era known as The Dark Ages Rebooted – The GDPR Years.

50 Years Later…

After a long and hard battle through The GDPR Years. Society has been rebuilt and appears to be some kind of Shangri-la. The General Data Protection Regulation is now a thing of the past and long forgotten, for all data and records were lost in the Great Fire of 2066 which was started by one lone and crazed former email marketer who was attempting to use some records to build a fire to keep warm. The blame for society’s collapse is placed firmly at the door or email marketers in the eyes of the general public and consequently any form of email marketing is prohibited for evermore and any daring to even think about engaging in its practice are bound to face the grisly return of gibbeting to deter others.

Only joking!

Of course GDPR isn’t going to be quite this dramatic, nor will it bring about the end of the world. It will force those in marketing, in particular email marketers, to reassess the strategies they use and bring about change to their methods. But whilst it may be a little heavy and somber subject, it just needs a little effort. Good luck!